You know, I should call this : Dark-sama's special ranting time Part Trois
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I seem to have incredibly bad luck when it comes to friendship, lately.

First, the girl I loved (Amy) ripped my heart to shreds, and then acts like she's the only one getting hurt by this. I still rather care about her, but know she considers me a piece of shit. That itself nearly made me go insane.

Next, was Jesse. A friend I've known for 3 or so years now, and he was the first actual crush I acknoledged. I haven't heard from him for years, but then he talked to me on my youtube account about a week ago. I added him on msn, but now whenever I log on, he logs off. Whenever I try to talk to him, he logs off.

Third of all, one of the only people who stayed with me after Amy left me. Emily. She's feels so much sympathy for poor lil' Amy, now she hates me. I thought she was my friend. I'm starting to get tired of my good friends throwing me glares with such hate in them.

I thought all these people were my friends.

But, in the dark, there can always be a ray of light.

Hayley and Hollee called me last Friday, to see if I was OK. I had missed school that day, because I'm sick and still am. They told me they think the way Amy's treating me is wrong, and they said they would stand up for me more. But they also said they can't take sides, which I understand completely.
The problem is, I'm afraid to sit with them, because I know Amy will have a fit. And now I don't think I can sit with Emily, because she's taking Amy's side.

I really am starting to hate 8th grade.

It turned out great at first. I fell in love with someone who I thought loved me back. It felt it was so perfect.

Then the ironic gods kicked me in the ass. Scolded me, because nothing can stay gold.

At first, Amy threw the 'I hope we can still be friends' crap at me, and then the next day she turns and say, "I'm not your friend, I don't want to be."
Does the song "Hot and Cold" come to mind?

And now I'm going insane. Hearing voices that aren't there. Hearing voices that belong to my own characters...I really don't want to go to that stupid hospital again.

Mental wards aren't fun. Trust me, if you haven't been there, you don't know how bad it is.

The stupid thing is, that last night I was on Gaia Online, playing pinball, and this guy comes in and starts raving on about how his girlfriend dumped his because of a rumor and crap. Then he started to talk about how "She's his other side and she completes him" and I know that might sound cheesy, but it didn't to me. I got a sudden pain in my heart as I remembered the girl I once (and...probably still do) love.

I do appreciate Hollee and Hayley's help. I appreciate they say that they're there for me.

But I miss lying beside her, in her arms. I miss being able to hug her whenever I feel. I miss her bear hugs, comfurting me whenever I had a panic attack.

And now I'm the invisible ex.

Love. Such a stupid emotion. Only good when it works. And that seems to be rare for me.

I'm toooooo young to have to go through this crap. I should've never told her I loved her. Never.
And to believe it all really started because her mom found out about us, and her mom had a fit.
The semi dance is tomorrow. I asked C.J. to the dance.
Amy will be dancing with Lucas. I'm afraid to go. I might not be able to take it.
But, being with C.J., maybe I'll be able to finally take my mind off those who had hurt me.
I haven't ranted like this in a while. Feels rather good though, once you finally get it out. ^^

Thanks for listening, fellow deviants. o:

Dark-sama